Dating and Church

While Mike and I continued dating, my ties to the church I was attending became stronger.  I started going to the potlucks, even though I am terrible at small talk, and I volunteered to teach vaction bible school.  I was really enjoying my times at the church and I was learning that to truly serve God, it couldn't be just something I did on Sunday.  Mike was also becoming more involved.  We started attending a bible study class together and he was baptized that summer.  He was positively glowing with radience in his new found joy.  Mike was also eagerly attending worship services and he was a volunteer for some of the Sunday morning duties.  My dreams and prayers were bearing fruit.  I couldn't believe that I could be so lucky.  I couldn't believe how great God was to send this wonderful man into my life and have him accept Christ also.  There was no turning back for me.  I knew that God had answered my prayers.  In my imagination, I saw Mike and I attending church on Sunday's with the beautiful children we would have.  I saw myself sitting there with his arm around me as we sang songs together, growing old in the service of the Lord, together.  Wow.  Those were the dreams of my youth.

Now, I didn't mention our living arrangements.  At the time, we were living in seperate apartments.  My roommate moved out, leaving me to cover the rent on my own.  Mike's roommates were reassigned and since the lease was in their names, he ended up without a place to live.  My parents had already met him and fell in love with.  My mom was terrified at the thought that I was living alone (I think she was afraid of the big, bad, wolf).  I lived in a two bedroom apartment, so my mom mentioned that perhaps Mike could move into the empty bedroom and pay half the rent (not to mention keeping away the big bad wolf).  I am blessed that she trusted me enough to make that suggestion.  So, Mike moved into the other bedroom and I have to brag, we were good, no sharing the same room (hint, hint).

Now, the good folks at the church, they didn't know me like my mom did and they were just starting to get to know Mike.  So one night, the pastor and one or two elders came over for coffee and kindly laid out their concerns.  They said, "where there's smoke, there's fire".  Now we knew that we hadn't gone too far, but apparently, that concern was enough to make a lot of people uncomfortable.  Vaction Bible SChool was over but Mike and I stopped attending the bible study and we only went to morning worship services.  People were less than friendly and our comfort level dropped a great deal.  Noone except a few older people said anything to our faces, but their looks spoke volumes. 

Mike had proposed to me prior to the 'official visit' and we even let our visitors know about our impending marriage, but that wasn't good enough.  I knew that living together wasn't what God wanted for me and so it was marriage or nothing.  What to do?

Here are some questions I should have thought about.  Maybe they will help you if you are dating:

1.  What does it mean to serve God?
2.  Is serving God different from following God?
3.  When should God be served, thought about, actively followed?
4.  What does that look like?  What does it feel like?
5.  Did you feel anything when you decided to follow God?  Jesus?
6.  How do you know it was real?  What happens if it (that feeling) doesn't last?
7.  How can you know for sure that you have a lasting faith?
8.  How does following God fit with your life style?