Dating

Mike and I came from two different worlds.  Mike was raised in a Catholic home and he was given the choice to quit going to church when he reached the age of sixteen.  I was raised in a home where my mom encouraged church attendance every week no matter how old we were (me and my siblings).  My brothers stopped going to church when they became teenagers.  My father didn't attend very often and it seemed that they were merely following in his footsteps.  My sister and I usually went to church with my mom.  I remember that we would stop for ice cream after services and that made Sunday's something to look forward to.  My mom only bought this treat for those who went to church.  Yep.  I loved ice cream then and I still love it today.  So, back to my story.

Since I knew that I wanted to marry someone who would share my faith, I tried really hard to keep Mike in one part of my life and my faith in another part of my life.  That plan didn't work because he kept showing up on Sunday's, my day for God.  He started coming to Sunday morning services and staying with me in the afternoons while I hung out at Scott and Rachel's apartment.  Meanwhile, our friends were giving their own opinions on the current state of our relationship.

Mike's friends were pretty ticked off because he wasn't drinking as much and he wasn't hanging out with them and partying like he used to.  They kept saying that we were never going to last because he would end up missing the parties.

My friends kept saying that Mike would 'ruin' me and end up making me start drinking and going to parties. 

Then there were the opinions of our families.  I haven't mentioned the fact that our relationship was also complicated because Mike is Hispanic and Polish and I come from an African-American family.  Not only did we come into the relationship with different views on religion, we also had people looking at us because we were an inter-racial couple.  My family loved Mike when they met him and they still love him.  Mike's dad (a big, loveable Polish man) accepted me right away and became one of my best friends.  He passed away two years ago and I miss him dearly.  Not everyone was happy about our dating and the direction we were heading.  At one point, we talked about whether or not we should continue our relationship.  I was willing to walk away if it meant that Mike would lose his relationship with his mom or brothers.  He wasn't willing to walk away.  So, we continued dating.

Some questions to consider:

1.  Should different views on religion and faith be discussed during the dating phase of a relationship?

2.  How much influence should friends and family have on the choice of a dating partnership/spouse?

3.  Should differences in faith have an impact on a future relationship?

4.  Do people really change the views they acquired in childhood?